Scarves Style and Glory: 5 Practices of Tigress Self-Love

By: Priscilla A. Wainwright, Ph.D., CPC

Tigress Self-Love is the fundamental attitude you need to hold for and about yourself. It is the foundation upon which you decide your choices, and relationships and actions, and upon which you view and regard others and your world.

There are tons of actions and practices you can undertake to consciously ENHANCE self-love. The 14 Tigress Habits are all exercises in self-love, by the way. One could argue that every thought and action you take reflects your degrees of self-love. It’s that fundamental and important.

At the base, Tigress Self-Love includes Self Respect, Self Acceptance, and Self-Appreciation.

If you consciously want to enhance self-love and feel and express it more deeply and clearly in your life, here are 5 practices that will get you going.

1. FORGIVE YOURSELF

If there is anything you’re holding against yourself, or for which you are

continually judging yourself, let it go. Write it off. Wipe the slate clean.

Look, we’re women. It seems that being self-critical is locked into our DNA. And we’re not perfect. We’re going to continue to slip up, make wrong choices and do things on occasion for which we’ll feel sorry. We’re human and imperfect. It goes with the territory. Don’t treat them as evidence of worthlessness.

Rather, if you make a mistake, or inadvertently hurt someone, do what you can to MAKE IT RIGHT! Do your best, forgive yourself, let it go, and move on. Don’t let mistakes or imperfections draw you down the path of self-loathing.

You’ll actually find, by the way, that if you’re loving yourself well, you’ll actually make fewer mistakes!

Clearly, forgiving yourself is an ongoing process, PERHAPS to be UNDERTAKEN DAILY. However, if you’ve been storing up a lot of self-reproach over past sins and faults, you might want to create a ritual to enhance the power and meaning of your initial “dump”.

You might write a list of all the things you’ve been holding onto and punishing yourself for. Then, in a brief ceremony, you set the list on fire and let it burn up completely. Say a prayer or give yourself a blessing of thanksgiving and forgiveness. You may choose also to read a poem, scripture passage, or sing a song or hymn (If You’re Christian, Just As I Am, and Amazing Grace are good ones). You also may choose a special time and go to a special place to do this. Follow the ceremony with a purposeful celebratory act, such as going out to dinner for your favorite meal. You also may want to do this alone or include a special person.

2. NUTURE YOURSELF DAILY

Self-Nurture may take many forms, from a daily walk, run, or work-out to a cozy,

warm bubble bath before bed with scented candles, bath beads, or flower petals in the water.

It doesn’t matter. But whatever you do, you want to be kind to all members of your personal holy trinity: Body, Mind, and Spirit.

For many of us women, developing the habit of daily self-nurturing is difficult. We are so busy with our jobs, running “Mom’s Taxi Service”, doing for others, over-serving. Our needs fall off the plates we are juggling. Perhaps we mean to care for ourselves (other than our morning beauty regimen), but at the end of the day, there is no time or energy left for US! Sound familiar?

Self-Nurturance is an exercise in PYF. That’s PUT YOURSELF FIRST. This is the Healthy Selfishness I mentioned in my previous blog.

I know, Tigress. PYF breaks all the rules in the “Good Girls’ Manual”. When I was growing up, in church I was drilled and grilled on “JOY – Jesus, Others, Yourself – in that order”. Is it any wonder that many of us, especially mid-lifers, feel guilty about putting our needs, wishes, or desires first?

Well, Tigress, if you’ve got some guilt going here, throw it out! Break out of your cage! Here’s your homework assignment: Write PYF at the top of each Day Planner page, and as #1 on your To-Do List.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to ignore other’s needs. Just alter the priorities a bit. After all, do you run your car endlessly without taking it into the shop for an oil chance or brake job periodically? No. You’ll burn up the engine! Stop giving your car more care and respect than you give yourself!

Self-Nurturance, however you choose to do it, is actually one of your best Health Care Practices!!!

Stress and burnout are America’s Number One Killer! Did you know that cancer is actually a stress-related disorder, along with hypertension? So are colds and flus. Stress impairs the body’s Immune System functioning, making us more vulnerable to the whole range of illnesses.

Daily Self-Nurturance practice, in whatever healthy form, is actually a great stress-buster. Depending on what you practice, it may actually lengthen your life as well as help you stay healthier. Yoga and Meditation, among other things, have been shown to lengthen life when practiced regularly.

The full range of Self –Nurturance is extremely broad, from proper diet and nutrition, exercise, to meditation and spiritual practice, pleasure activities, to over coming eating disorders, cutting and alcohol and drug abuse. Some things you undertake may require professional help or coaching to maintain. If so, get it. You’ll be glad you did.

Do some form of planned Self-Nurturance practice daily. Get into a habit of positive self-care. Maybe it will be one or more specific practices or habits you’ll create. Or maybe it may be a specific period of time you set aside, during which you do different things on different days.

Whatever, starting a Self-Nurturance Practice and keeping it going will be a tremendous Self-Love enhancer.

GO FOR IT, Tigress!

Next Blog, we’ll continue the list of five.

Let’s get a conversation going! Either in comments below or in an e-mail to me, please tell me your favorite Self-Nurturance practice. I will publish the results, along with your name. E-mail me at pris@scarvesstyleandglory.com, or post on my Facebook page timeline at www.facebook.

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