When you think of “Leadership”, what comes to mind?
(Please answer this question before reading further.)
If you’re like me, your first thought probably was some kind of leader and a band of followers.
Whether you were thinking “corporate” (boss vs. supervisor and underlings) or “military” (General and troops), or even the informal “Social Activist” (say, like Gandhi and independent believers who follow), the basic model is the same.
The typical “leadership model” is top-down, vertical and hierarchical. Now when I was taking leadership courses, they were touting the virtues of the “reverse pyramid”, or the “servant leader”, with the boss at the bottom. Her/his role was to empower the workers, provide resources, and in short, make their success possible.
We were also taught about the “visionary leader”, who holds the vision of the enterprise and inspires others to give their all for the cause in question.
Of course, when we really look at leadership as we typically understand it, we see a top-down, hierarchical model. The “leader” in the model is “above” the followers, invested with power and authority. Typically, there is a clear distinction between leader and follower, and often the “leader” is more highly prized.
Now there’s nothing wrong with any of this, and the way most organizations are structured, this model works.
Yet, it is left-brained, and so male-thinking oriented. Of course, - because it developed in the context of the patriarchy.
Here’s a sad consequence: Unless we are “in charge” of something or have people answering to us, we often don’t think of ourselves as leaders.
BUT WE ARE!
There is another, more right-brained, creative, horizontal, collaborative, female-friendly model for leadership. This model fits women perfectly…..The Fairy Godmother!
No, she can’t turn a pumpkin into a carriage, but she can make magic happen!
How?
Through her influence, one to one or one to small numbers of others - through her nurturance.
Looking at power , male- based model power resides in Authority (control); female model – based power resides in Influence (shaping). VOILA! The Fairy Godmother.
She leads through caring, nurture, support, holding a vision which she shares. She leads by touching lives and helping others bring out their best. She is a good role model, leading by example, as well as precept.
So, Woman of Style and Glory, you are a leader, even if you have no one who has to answer to you.
What would happen if you decided to show up every day in life as a “leader”, no matter what your actual roles in life are?
Think about that, Woman of Style and Glory.
(I credit Claire Zammit with coming up with the idea of Fairy Godmother as a leader.)
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This seems be based on a false premise: that women always think in a nurturing way and men in a leadership way, so therefore women don't function well in a top-down environment. I disagree. Some women are born nurturers, but plenty are not - same goes for men. Some are happy in leadership roles, and some are happy to follow - there are alphas and betas in both genders. To generalize that each gender thinks in very specific boundary manners is a broad generalization, and it's actually part of the problem, though I'll get back to that in a minute.
ReplyDeleteTo get to the root of the matter, it's not that women don't function well in top down environments - plenty of women do, once they are finally in those positions - it's that often the growth opportunities presented to women are not the same as those presented to men (View the failed class action suit against Walmart for an example - plenty of material there, but the one I'm referencing specifically is the woman who was told that they were hiring the man for the supervisor's position because the man had a family to support - though she was also a working parent). And this perception that women simply do not think the same way, that they are more nurturing (in corporate-ese: softer, and more likely to take off years to raise children), isn't helpful, and prolongs the stereotype.
Hi, Christine . I see the brain-based gender differences play out dramatically sometimes in my couples work. They are very real indeed. That said, there are plenty of nurturant men and plenty of women who adapt well to the patriarchal model.. My point is that, since that is the model in which we are all raised, we assume that is the way it is to be. The patriarchal model of leadership works in the way the organizations are organized. There is nothing wrong with it. Also, the differences between the genders are often not much greater than the differences WITHIN each gender. We women have learned to adapt to the patriarchal model without question, and much of it does work, but many women find that growing up in the patriarchy, and having to perform and succeed in that framework, they have (often unknowingly) given up something of their feminine nature in the process. Just ask the 1000 (not kidding !) women in the Feminine Power course I just completed. I also suspect that you are very blessed to have Patrick. My guess is that he is more nurturant than average.
ReplyDeleteAll I wanted to do in my article was to point out an additional model that allows for a broader definition of leadership, even if you don't have "followers". Our common understanding in our society for the use of that term implies that you must have a following to be a "Leader"; that your not a "Leader" if no one is following you. The Fairy Godmother model allows leadership thru influence. Hence I can be a leader even if I have no following, just by virtue of the fact that I can influence others. Now if I live every day inside the image of myself as a 'Leader", how would my behavior change? That last empowering question was the point of my article.
Pris