Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Style Power !!




By   Priscilla A. Wainwright, Ph.D., CPC


What do you think will happen to the little cat when she gets her tigress stripes painted on?
 
Clearly she’s working on her style.  My guess is that she will begin in some ways to act differently.  Some of the changes will be subconscious.  She’ll do them without thinking about it.  Her subconscious will detect the change, and improve things automatically.  Other changes will be consciously determined.

Her gait may be more determined.  She will probably walk with greater confidence and presence.  Her purr may come across with more authority.  I’d bet if she walks past a mirror and sees her reflection, she’ll purr to herself, “You rock, Girl”.

Our little cat is being intentional about upgrading her style.  She will look prettier, but that will not be the end of it.  Ideally, she will begin to “live into” her Tigress image.  She will find herself becoming bolder, more positively assertive.

To the degree that she looks like a Tigress, the more likely she is to act like one.  And to the degree that she acts assertively, she will get different, hopefully more positive,  outcomes in her relationships and situations.

Such outcomes will positively reinforce her behavior changes.. Bit by bit, her confidence will build.  As that happens, her self-esteem and sense of self-worth will improve.

One of my girlfriends once quipped. “Women dress their self-esteem.”  I think she’s on target in most cases.

Of course, “style” is a lot more than fashion.  Your “look” is just the beginning.  Your style starts with your outward appearance.  It also involves your gait, habitual  facial and verbal expressions,  how you speak and walk.  In short, your style includes every single aspect of how you present yourself in your world.

Your style also directly impacts how you are treated.  Especially with women, how you dress will directly affect the amount of initial respect you receive from others.
When I go to a mall right after church on Sundays, in my “Sunday best”, I notice that routinely I am approached and fawned over by salespeople, both men and women alike, moreso than the casually dressed women that enter the store right beside me.

Clearly, your outward appearance serves as a marker to others, followed by your behavior.

So, if you want more respect and to feel stronger within yourself, start with an assessment of your style, starting with your appearance.  If you need to, get feedback from trusted friends.  Of course, you will want your style to reflect your authentic self.  I’m not saying you need to “dress up”.  That’s a decision you will need to make for yourself.  Just be more intentional in how you come across.

It does make a difference.  You’ve heard the old line, “Fake it till you make it”.  Amy Cuddy recently altered it: “Fake it till you become it”.  But, the real truth is, that by sharpening up your style, you’re not faking it.  You’re releasing and expressing the inner radiance and glory waiting within!

You Rock, Tigress!!

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Pat, LaCroix, our Certified Style Coach at www.ScarvesStyleAndGlory.com
Offers FREE weekly Style Tips by email subscription,.
She also offers Style Coaching to help you present in the best way for your true self.

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