The Tigress - Key Core Qualities

By:   Priscilla Wainwright

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The well-developed Inner Tigress will display in her unique way, the following qualities:

First and foremost, she is RADIANT.    Her presence lights up the room.    Her energy can be felt.    There is a magnetic quality about her, and perhaps because of her radiance, an air of mystery.

She is FULLY AUTHENTIC.    She clearly knows who she is and is confortable in her own skin.    She consistently lives her truth.    She has no axe to grind and has no reason to be defensive.    She is her own person to the world.    She loves herself completely in healthy ways and accepts herself as she is, as a person of worth and glory.

Through her authenticity, she has set reasonable and positive BOUNDARIES.    She is kind, compassionate, generous and giving.    She also knows how and where to say “No” and is clear on the limits she has set on her action and involvement.    She maintains a healthy balance between caring for the needs of others and self-nurturance.

The Tigress loves being FEMALE.    She fully embraces and lives into and through her feminine qualities.    She has well developed, and exercises her power through, the 5 female power sources:    Emotion, Intuition, Empathy, Connection, and Higher Calling.

The Tigress is PASSIONATE and INTENTIONAL – Her passion fuels her sense of purpose for being in this world.  She has a large world view, has burdens on her heart and inner yearnings to create goodness and leave her personal mark on the world.    Whether it is a cause or project that affects large numbers of people, or improvement in her workplace and/or family, or anything in between, she births her dreams into reality.    She is clear on her direction,  active, persistent, hangs in there, and makes great things happen.

The Tigress is searingly COURAGEOUS.   She openly speaks her truth.   She will rise up to protect her own and defend against or attack injustice and wrong-doing.   She has no desire to challenge nor offend, but is not afraid to buck public convention or opinion when such is in conflict with her truth and values.    She refuses to conform or knuckle under when doing so would compromise her authenticity.    She has the courage of her convictions and takes effective action!

Due to all of the above qualities, she is RESILIENT.   She has an optimistic view of the world, life, and the Universal Powers That Be.    She recognizes setbacks as temporary.    Rather than worry or feel hopeless when difficulties or tragedies arise, she steps outside her pain and frustration and finds opportunities for growth and potential blessings therein.    Like the proverbial cork in the water, she bounces to the surface and handles the situation appropriately.     You can’t keep a great girl down!

Clearly, there are many more qualities which a well-developed Tigress will manifest, such as Happiness, Love, Effectiveness, Generosity, Optimism, Persistence, &c.     We could go on and on.   However, most of the additional qualities she demonstrates derive from the ones described above.

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Steven Covey wrote the best-seller, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People".   Well,  next Tuesday you will get to see  "The 14 Habits of Highly Effective Tigresses". These habits are really the core attitude/action set of truly empowered women.  Please join me here next Tuesday.

Qualities are just that.  They are the grounding for how we show up in life and what we show up with. Habits are repeated behavior sets that put the qualities into action.

Ohmigosh!!!!  I ended a sentence above with a preposition!!  What a grammatical faux pas!  Winston Churchill would roll over in his grave. He once said, "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."  (<.....>)

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Tigress 4 - "Rise Up And ROAR"

        

                                                          

                                                                        To claim your true worth……..

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To proclaim your inner glory…..

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To release your pain……..

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To drown your fear……

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To shatter your chains…….

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To transcend your past……

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To strengthen your spirit……

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To assert your equality…….

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To seize your freedom…….

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To free your Tigress……

                                                                                                Rise up and roar.

                                                                        To fulfill your womanly destiny……

                                                                                    RISE UP AND ROAR ! ! ! !

                                                                       

                                                                               PRISCILLA A. WAINWRIGHT, Ph.D., CPC

© Priscilla A. Wainwright.   All rights reserved                

 “RISE UP AND ROAR” ---

WHAT YOU’RE REALLY DOING

By:   Priscilla A. Wainwright, Ph.D., CPC

            When you “Rise Up and Roar”, you are emptying your inner frustration, pent up over the years.

            You are asserting your (1) PRESENCE – you are here: world take notice.    You are coming out of the background, no longer invisible nor blending in.    You are stepping into the light of day and claiming your rightful space.

            You are asserting your (2) FREEDOM – you are throwing off the shackles of oppression, being objectified, being subservient to others’ will.    You own your own personhood.    You accept and relish the fact that you are a wonderful, unique, beautiful, powerful creature in your own right.    No longer a “slave”, you are FREE TO COOPERATE.  You may still serve, but you do so by choice – willfully - as your FREE expression of your love, not as your preprogrammed role.

            You are asserting your (3) EQUALITY – you are no longer a lesser being, a second-class citizen.    All of us are worth it - all equal in worth and value, regardless of differing talents, skills, and assets.    You are FREE to partner as equals, contributing your unique assets, skills and talents, as desired, to whatever enterprise – family, friends, business, and/or community.

            NOTE THIS:     There is no inherent anger in the roar.   By roaring, - asserting your presence, freedom and equality – you actually transcend and release anger.   You can let anger go.   Anger is the result of hurt, oppression, feeling out of control.    Proper assertion is not aggressive – true freedom transcends the desire to punish.   (If I wish to punish or get even, I am not truly free.    My emotions are still hooked.    I am still a prisoner of the object of my anger, because emotionally I’m still hung up on that person, circumstance, or whatever.)

            While anger may occasionally motivate us to action, anger is not the source of our power.    Our Inner Spirit is – your “Inner Tigress”.   She is at once Powerful, Independent, yet Nurturing and Cooperative.    She finds her power both in herself and in her community, and in the Divine.

            Because Tigresses are powerful and positively assertive, they have no enemies.   They may need to struggle, but they do not harbor hatred in their hearts.    If they struggle, it is to claim their independence, not to defeat, belittle nor destroy.

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Priscilla A. Wainwright, Ph.D., CPC, is an empowerment coach for women on the rise.    She is founder of www.ScarvesStyleAndGlory.com, which sells scarves and offers  free style tips, style and empowerment coaching and The Women of Style and Glory Membership.       She may be contacted through her website or by e-mail at pris@scarvesstyleandglory.com.

Maryland women:  Want a great networking circle?  On Purpose Women.  I belong and love it!! Wonderful opportunities and fabulous women.  Find out more at www.GinnyRobertson.com

Tigress 3 - The Inner Feminine Spirit

By  Priscilla A. Wainwright, Ph.D., CPC

SPIRIT – “Pneuma”, “breath” – energy, force

FEMININE – Qualities endemic to the female gender (not = “girly”)

INNER – Innate, part of your natural endowments.

            The Inner Feminine Spirit is a host of related, overlapping qualities that come with being born female.    These qualities are just as much a part of womanhood as longer hair, softer skin, menstruation, and menopause.    The hormonal and brain architecture/structure support these qualities and, in part, determine (along with genetics) the manner and degree to which they exist in any given woman.

            There is great difference within the ranks of women as to the extent/degree to which the Feminine Spirit qualities are possessed, experienced and expressed.    This difference is due to natural variation much like any other human qualities.     For example, some people are naturally more empathic than others.   Culture and upbringing clearly have an impact as well in terms of how the qualities of the Inner Feminine Spirit are experienced and expressed.   So, “Nature” and “Nurture” combine in terms of the “amount” and expression of these qualities in one’s life.    “Personality” also affects expression.  They all, however, can be developed further.

            As you read over these qualities, you will notice that men possess them as well.   However, the genders typically express them differently, and to different degrees, again in large part due to differences in biology, hormonal and brain structure, and gender roles in the culture in which the persons are raised.   Sometimes, the differences within the gender are greater than the differences between the genders.

            So…..when I speak of the Inner Feminine Spirit (or the Inner Tigress), I am referring to the uniquely feminine ways in which these qualities are experienced and expressed.    Within most of the qualities, the Female Experience will exceed and/or be different in nature than the male experience of the same quality.     Therefore, in my explanation for each quality, I emphasize the typical Female Mode of expression (knowing there is often great individual difference in experience and expression).

            When it comes to several of these qualities, the male is more left-brained (“intellectual”, detail oriented, strategic), while the woman is more whole-brained.    For example, she is endowed with greater capacity for emotional expression and understanding than most men.    That is in large measure due to the fact that women and men process reason and emotion very differently.

            That said, there is a great richness and radiance to the Inner Feminine Spirit, and the feminine expression of these qualities.    It is on the feminine expression that I will be focusing throughout my writing.

THE INNER TIGRESS

            The Inner Tigress is the optimal, full experience and expression of the Inner Feminine Spirit.    She is the embodiment of the penultimate, total full richness of experience and expression of Female Radiance, Power and Glory.    She is the metaphor for the complete flowering of your Inner Feminine being – and loving being – fully female.

            Again, let me reiterate that “Feminine” in the way I use the term never equates with “girly”.   “Girly Girls” and “Tomboys” can both be fully “feminine” in terms of being in touch with their Inner Tigress,  experiencing and expressing the inner powers, qualities, and nature that goes with being born (or recreated) female.

            Now “Girly” and “Tomboy” girls will express themselves in very different ways in dress and behavior, but they both may have a well-developed Inner Tigress.

THE TIGRESS QUALITIES

[THE INNER FEMININE SPIRIT]

·      RADIANCE – Inner beauty and glory that shines forth when released – highly visible.

·      COURAGEOUS – Powerful beyond measure – (Female Power) – power innate – drawn thru the rest of the qualities.

·      AUTHENTIC – She lives her truth without compromise, with integrity and congruence.

·      RESILIENT – Optimistic, she bounces back, nothing holds her down.

·      ASSERTIVE – Rise up to protect the cubs, fight for justice and truth, self-determined.

·      NURTURANT – Caring, compassionate, loving, giving, responsive.

·      CONNECTED – Cooperative, draws power thru the “collective field”, evolutionary partnerships/relationships.

·      EMOTIONAL – Uses feeling as data and vital part of internal experience, expressive of feeling.

·      INTUTIVE – Senses, gut impression, inner wisdom

·      SPIRITUAL – Innate spiritual connection to the  “Powers of the Universe”,  “Goddess Within”, (not necessarily “religious”).

·      INFLUENTIAL – Affects and shapes others – key power source.

·      EMPATHIC – Intuits and feels the experience of another, intellectually and gut, feels for needs of others.

·      SENSUAL – Sexual and related energy, passionate, artistic.

·      WISE – Beyond “intellect” and “knowledge” – women’s ways of knowing.

·      INTENTIONAL – Lives life with passion, purpose, and determination.    She is clear on what is important to her, and on the inner yearnings she will birth into reality.

       Women are, by definition,  Trustees for Beauty,  Love, and  Connection in

       the  world.

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Tigress 2: Growing Up In THe Patriarchy

By:   Priscilla A. Wainwright, Ph.D., CPC

            Betty grew up with parents who praised her; they trained her that she could be anything she wanted.    She grew to become very much her own person.    She went to college, grad school and began a successful career.   Yet, she didn’t really get in touch with her full feminine side until she became pregnant!    Her parents tried to raise her as gender-neutral as they could.    Betty is an empowered, liberated woman by all normal standards.

            However, the Patriarchy presents a male-model definition of success, and a rather linear path to get there.    Society has made great strides under the Patriarchy, and the model has been immensely helpful to men and women alike.

            So, women like Betty grow up feeling good about themselves, and feel “empowered”.    However, the Patriarchy subtly offers a male-oriented model.    Women think they’re “empowered” when they succeed and rise as high as men, and feel equal in status.    This is only partially true, however.

            So many highly accomplished women who have succeeded in their own right, still have lost touch with part of their Feminine Nature, their Inner Tigress.     Yet they are either not, or are only dimly, aware of that part of themselves which has gotten lost along the way.

            The Patriarchy objectivizes women in subtle ways that most women, even many who consider themselves “empowered,” do not see.

            [Sidebar – How do you boil a live frog?  You put it into a pot of cold water. While it’s swimming around, you slowly turn up the heat.  The poor frog dies and is cooked before it even knows what is happening.  Well, girlfriends,  that has been what has been happening to us in the Patriarchal culture.]

            Why do even many of the most “empowered women” miss it?   Because we all grew up in the Patriarchy.   Even “women’s lib” was shaped by it.    It is the ocean we swim in, the air we breathe.    We take it for granted, believing it to be “the way it is”.    We go along with it, or we rebel against it, but even that is done within the patriarchal framework.

            We accept, go with the flow, or rebel.   But we have not – until very recently – called the whole patriarchal system into question. Why?  Because we have assumed the patriarchy and the typical model of achieving success in work and society, organizational leadership, family structure, religion, etc. is “the way it is” (or in the case of religion and the human motivation movement, “the way it should be”.)    According to the Patriarchy, if you are not “succeeding” or “achieving” in a goal-oriented way, you are off track.

            Now don’t get me wrong.   There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of this.    It works, and the patriarchal system has produced huge wonders in human creative, scientific and technical progress.

            It’s just that the Patriarchy devalues qualities that are typically “feminine”, including important factors related to female power and knowing:    emotion, temperament, gut-reaction, intuition, unpredictability, etc.    As a result, many of us women also devalue (or at least underestimate the value of) these qualities.

            So, the power and success system that works great for guys is insufficient to include all the broad aspects of female power.    The result:   women who are immersed in the patriarchy, and who strive to succeed in a “male-dominated” way of defining and understanding society and culture, often lose touch with the full feminine spectrum of experience.

            The full feminine spectrum (Inner Tigress) slowly slips away, so slowly, so subtly, that the average girl is unaware it is happening.    Until one day, she awakens to an empty feeling and wonders what happened.    Because it happened so subtly, she hasn’t a clue.    She feels the emptiness, but doesn’t know what is missing, and has no idea how, or with what, to replace it.

            To make matters worse (or to complicate the issue, at least) we have been taught that true success in life for women is to be attractive and pleasing to men, well-married, and to be good “servants” of others’ needs.   While on the surface there is nothing inherently “wrong” in this, when you really dig into those messages, they are belittling of women, and limiting it terms of encouraging women to bring forth their true, full power and potential.  Problem is, men are not  taught the same things in relation to women.    Men are taught to succeed, treat women well, and to expect their female partners to be “helpmeets”.

            Deny this all you want, it plays out in families.    Even in homes where the woman is “empowered”, has a career and makes a good living, in the vast majority of cases, when it comes to housework and domestic duties, most of that work falls to women.    And when there is conflict with the children, the kids are more likely to listen to, and show more respect to, the father than the mother.    This is the result of Patriarchal poisoning, in spite of the apparent empowerment of women.

              You see, there is a subtle sister-myth to the Patriarchy.  It remains mostly unspoken.  Women’s empowerment has driven it much more underground, but its rumblings and messages are still present, even if subconsciously. That is the Myth of Female Subservience.  Its basic message is that women are secondary and lesser to men in the “natural order” of things.  This is part of the poison that has been in our atmosphere growing up.  While women in their mid thirties and older have been more affected by this myth than our younger sisters, this myth is resurfacing with great power in the oversexualizing of young girls and women by the media.  Objectifying of women is not going away. It’s just changing form.

             As a result, there is greater need for girls and women of all ages to reconnect with their Inner Tigress than ever before.  Maybe not so much for the sake of assertiveness as was more necessary in the past, but in terms of fully honoring the Female within us beyond sex and into the full range of female power.

             Much more could be said about these issues, and I will be addressing them in future blogs.  The objectification of women is a key topic in Bridge 1 of my “4 Bridges” model of Female Empowerment.

              Now, back to the Tigress, the direct subject of my next blog, where I define and spell out the Inner Feminine Spirit and key Tigress qualities.