By: Priscilla Wainwright
“You alone can do it, but you can’t do it alone.” A wise man
once said. How true. All success is
social. It doesn’t exist in isolation nor solely at the individual level. And neither does getting there.
So often we think we’re weak if we can’t do it all by
ourselves. That’s so not true,
especially in today’s complex society.
To reach our max, we need not just “cheerleaders”, as
important as our girlfriend relationships are to us. We also need “Synergistic Partners”. These, likely to be very few in number, will
relate with us at a very deep level. We
will share our deepest longings, our passions, inspirations, fears, doubts,
barriers – everything.
They will not only support us by affirmation, but – more
importantly sometimes – by holding up the mirror, showing us the truth when the
vision is cloudy. They will hold us
accountable, and may have us make certain commitments to them.
They will most likely invite us to do the same with them.
Clearly this is a very deep and trusting relationship, not
one that develops fully overnight, and not one your average girlfriend is
willing to undertake.
So how do you select such a person and develop a Synergistic
Partnership with her? Here are several
steps that, done well, will create a high probability of success.
Before proceeding, there is some necessary inner work to do.
First, decide exactly what you are looking for in this
relationship. What are your goals and
intentions for the relationship/ What are you willing to reveal, and how far will you go in this respect? What
specifically will you want the other person to provide? As best you can, clarify your expectations for
yourself and your potential partner. Write all this down and review it until
you are completely satisfied with it.
Now of course, this isn’t crafted in stone, As your relationship progresses, some of this
may change. That’s to be expected, but
doing the prep work gives you a place to start.
Second, consider your own personality. Do you have control
or other issues that could sabotage you?
What type of person do you work best with? What type of personality should she have? Of course, you will want someone who will
feel free to stand up to and disagree with you when necessary. Don’t select a yes-girl.
Now you’re ready to select your potential partner. Is there
someone in your circle of friends who might fit? If not, how about acquaintances in
organizations to which you belong?
You might start by inviting her to your home or to meet you
at a restaurant, Starbucks, or someplace.
Share your ideas, your passions, and have you list of goals, intentions
and expectations handy. You want to feel
her out about her thoughts and
desires, and whether she’d want the same or a similar relationship with you.
Start your indepth conversation with how you admire her and
how impressed you are with her input, accomplishments, whatever. Tell her how
helpful she has been, and the reasons why you have chosen her to invite into
this relationship. This isn’t to soften
her up. Quite often people do and say things but never hear how others have
benefitted from it.
Follow this with telling her what you’re needing and looking
for, and would she be willing to help you.
If so, then you can lay out the details. Then you need to explore
whether she’d like the same or similar kind of relationship with you.
Consistency and follow through are essential it getting a
synergistic partnership off the ground. You want to explore how often you want
to get together, how you will communicate between meetings, &c. You each can serve each other as a Mastermind
Group of two!
Boundaries are also important here. You need to be careful
about overstepping into each other’s business and life. You may want to establish shared agreements
early (including mutual confidentiality) so you can maintain an effective
comfort level going forward.
Of course, all of this is strictly a guideline. How you proceed is up to you and will depend
on the nature of your prior relationship with your potential partner.
However you work it out, a Synergistic Partner will become
one of your most treasured resources, and perhaps your deepest longterm friendship. Go for it!
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Have a Frabjous Day!!!
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