By: Priscilla A. Wainwright, Ph.D., CPC
I
originally thought of these as part of Practice 5, Connection. And of course, they are. But the more I thought about it, I’ve concluded
kindness and generosity deserve special mention.
Of course
it goes without saying that kindness and generosity underlie and are an
essential part of love of any kind.
They are implied by definition.
Clearly, if
you have been applying the Tigress Self Love practices, you will have been kind
and generous to yourself.
However, I
want to bring kindness and generosity out of the shadow of implication and into
the spotlight. I also want to link them
in a special way.
It is very
possible that Generosity can be practiced without kindness. A person or company can be generous simply
out of duty, or for a tax write-off.
While the donation may help others, such generosity is soul-empty. I’m not suggesting that such generosity be
stopped. Far from it.
The world’s needs are great.
Rather I would wish generosity to come from genuine caring and
compassion.
I have also
seen kindness be displayed without generosity.
People may be kind in their interactions, but “cheap” when it comes to
generosity, not only of money, but of time and talent as well.
But the
real truth is, if I limit my Generosity unduly, I am also limiting my Kindness.
Clearly,
one can only give so much. There are
appropriate limits to giving. True
Generosity, however, is a matter of Spirit,
not just of time and/or treasure. The
task is the development of a generous heart.
St. Paul
ends his famous “Love Chapter (1st
Corinthians 13) with “Faith, hope, and love, these three. But the greatest of these is love.” The King James Version of the New Testament
translates St. Paul’s word for love, “agape”, as “charity”. This is closer to the true meaning. The word “Agape” in Greek is an action
verb. It means doing acts of love, not just having warm, caring feelings.
Now….How
does all this connect with Self-Love?
Intimately!!!
Repeated
studies have shown that people who practice altruism are in fact happier. The connection between personal happiness
and generosity towards others is powerful and direct.
Donating,
giving of our time and talent and “random acts of kindness” such as giving a
compliment to a stranger, or holding a door open for someone else actually
boosts our happiness quotient.
Think about
it. How did you feel when you did a
small random act of kindness for someone else?
I’d bet you felt a little tinge of joy or satisfaction. How about when you truly gave of yourself or
your funds?
I’m not
advocating “giving ‘til it hurts”. That
can destroy happiness, especially if we feel we must do it out of duty. It
can also be a recipe for burnout.
Over-serving is a bad habit too many women have fallen into.
But with
appropriate boundaries, Generosity is a great happiness booster. As such, it rounds out Tigress Self-Love.
By
appropriately, consciously looking for ways to demonstrate Kindness and
Generosity to others, we are nurturing ourselves as well. We are perhaps giving ourselves one of the
greatest gifts.
Spirit-filled
Generosity and Self Love are truly cyclical.
Copyright 2013 Priscilla Wainwright. All rights reserved.
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