By: Priscilla A. Wainwright, Ph.D., CPC
This is one
of the most important Tigress Habits because of its implications.
Central to
carrying out this habit is a very critical truth many people fail to recognize,
let alone understand. That truth is
that each of us is the co-creator of our experience at all times.
This means
that, no matter what happens to us, ultimately we have both responsibility and
choice as to how we will interpret the situation and respond.
Suppose,
for example, someone does something horrible to us totally without any
provocation on our part. A natural
response is to feel hurt, perhaps betrayed, and to feel like a victim. “They did this awful thing to me. I’m a victim. I can’t help my response (or I feel justified
in sulking or retaliating).” This is
the “I can’t help it” response.
The
well-developed Tigress recognizes that she is capable of choice regarding her
response. She knows that, while she
cannot always control what happened to her, she can choose how she will view
and cope with the situation. While
having been “victimized”, she can decide not to feel like a victim. She is free to respond as she wills,
including forgiving the perpetrator.
She writes the story she will create in her mind about the event. We write the story first, then act according
to our “script”.
This means
that she is free to have an appropriate response, and to let it go and move on,
as opposed to dwelling and nursing resentment. Granted, some situations will lead to hurt,
feelings of betrayal, grief, and possibly guilt. A severe situation will require a period of
healing. But the healing is faster and
more complete and empowering when you own your choices.
The key act
you can do in order not to have sticky resentments and nursing anger is to
“take no crap” in the first place. By
refusing to take crap, and appropriately standing up for and protecting
yourself, you are less likely to retain anger.
Why?
Because you
will have met the situation head-on and handled it in a more effective
manner. Thus it will be, in most cases,
done with, or at least, minimized.
It is the
ones who feel powerless – like a victim – who are most likely to dwell and
nurse anger, hurt, or resentment.
Feeling helpless to cope, they seethe.
Such seething cannot only destroy relationships over time, but is
dangerous to both your mental and physical health. The stress of retained anger can weaken
your immune system and promote a heart attack or other illness.
By taking
no crap and harboring no rage, you are empowered and able to write a story of
power and victory rather than one of pain and victimization. It is very freeing and esteem-boosting to
know that you are the author of all
your life’s stories. As author, you
determine the story’s outcome.
Taking no
crap and harboring no rage opens the door to your power in the face of
adversity. It is a life stance that you
take now, and then act upon as difficult situations arise. Resolving to take no crap and harbor no
rage places you into a positive Tigress power center and gives you a direction
for action.
Go,
Tigress! Act > Let go > Forgive
> Move on > Stay Free!
Copyright 2013 Priscilla Wainwright. All rights reserved.
______________________________________
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