By Priscilla A. Wainwright,
Ph.D., CPC
What do you think will happen to the little cat when she
gets her tigress stripes painted on?
Clearly she’s working on her style. My guess is that she will begin in some ways
to act differently. Some of the changes
will be subconscious. She’ll do them
without thinking about it. Her
subconscious will detect the change, and improve things automatically. Other changes will be consciously determined.
Her gait may be more determined. She will probably walk with greater
confidence and presence. Her purr may
come across with more authority. I’d bet
if she walks past a mirror and sees her reflection, she’ll purr to herself,
“You rock, Girl”.
Our little cat is being intentional about upgrading her
style. She will look prettier, but that
will not be the end of it. Ideally, she
will begin to “live into” her Tigress image.
She will find herself becoming bolder, more positively assertive.
To the degree that she looks like a Tigress, the more likely
she is to act like one. And to the
degree that she acts assertively, she will get different, hopefully more
positive, outcomes in her relationships
and situations.
Such outcomes will positively reinforce her behavior
changes.. Bit by bit, her confidence will build. As that happens, her self-esteem and sense of
self-worth will improve.
One of my girlfriends once quipped. “Women dress their
self-esteem.” I think she’s on target in
most cases.
Of course, “style” is a lot more than fashion. Your “look” is just the beginning. Your style starts with your outward
appearance. It also involves your gait,
habitual facial and verbal expressions, how you speak and walk. In short, your style includes every single
aspect of how you present yourself in your world.
Your style also directly impacts how you are treated. Especially with women, how you dress will
directly affect the amount of initial respect you receive from others.
When I go to a mall right after church on Sundays, in my
“Sunday best”, I notice that routinely I am approached and fawned over by
salespeople, both men and women alike, moreso than the casually dressed women
that enter the store right beside me.
Clearly, your outward appearance serves as a marker to
others, followed by your behavior.
So, if you want more respect and to feel stronger within
yourself, start with an assessment of your style, starting with your
appearance. If you need to, get feedback
from trusted friends. Of course, you
will want your style to reflect your authentic self. I’m not saying you need to “dress up”. That’s a decision you will need to make for
yourself. Just be more intentional in
how you come across.
It does make a difference. You’ve heard the old line, “Fake it till you
make it”. Amy Cuddy recently altered it:
“Fake it till you become it”. But,
the real truth is, that by sharpening up your style, you’re not faking it. You’re releasing and expressing the
inner radiance and glory waiting within!
You Rock, Tigress!!
----------------------------
Pat, LaCroix, our
Certified Style Coach at www.ScarvesStyleAndGlory.com
Offers FREE weekly
Style Tips by email subscription,.
She also offers Style
Coaching to help you present in the best way for your true self.
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